


Maybe

by skyewardsstan_fics (nathyfaith)



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-10
Updated: 2014-04-10
Packaged: 2018-01-18 21:28:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1443559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nathyfaith/pseuds/skyewardsstan_fics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post - Turn, Turn, Turn - Where Ward is taken into custody after SHIELD found out he was with HYDRA. Coulson visits him one last time, but it's not Coulson in his mind. What happens to the drink he promised his Rookie?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe

**Author's Note:**

> Newest fanfic bu justdrabbles, hope you all enjoy the pain that this piece brings.

"Will she see me?"

"She can’t," replied Coulson as he shook his head. "I’m sorry."

"It’s okay," he replies. "It’s fine.."

Maybe it was better if she doesn’t visit him. Maybe it was better if she doesn’t wanna see him. Maybe it was better that she  _doesn’t_  see him. Maybe it was better that she doesn’t talk to him.

Because that way, maybe he won’t feel the guilt increasing like he knows it will when he sees her. Maybe that way, he won’t see the disappointment in her eyes. Maybe that way, he won’t  _plead_  her to listen to him and be rejected because  _he knows she will._

Maybe it was better that she didn’t visit him. Because that way, maybe he won’t remember the first day they met. Maybe he won’t remember how his heart skipped a beat when she looked up at him, all innocent eyes. Maybe he won’t remember their very first downtime, and they had spent it  _together_ drinking in the lounge. Maybe he won’t remember  _that_  feeling he had when he took her helping hand and pulled him up, just after she deflated the boat and saved his life. Maybe he won’t remember how fragile she looked when he saw her being taken by Quinn’s guards. Maybe he won’t remember the sweet scent of her strawberry-scented shampoo when she was in his arms at weapons training. Maybe he won’t remember how good it felt spending a whole mission with  _just her_. Maybe he won’t remember how badly he wanted to  _look_  at her that moment when he was about to go in that compound. Maybe he won’t remember his heart racing when they were playing board games. Maybe he won’t remember the sparkle in her eyes every time she wins.

Maybe it was better that she didn’t visit him. Because that way, maybe he won’t remember how it _stung_  knowing that she was  _with_  Lydon. Maybe he won’t remember how it took everything he got to say  _no_  to her when she asked him to to go with her to Coulson.

Maybe it was better that she didn’t visit him. Because that way, maybe he won’t remember how good it felt when she stayed with him when their teammate was facing death. Maybe he won’t remember that  _she_  was the  _only_  reason for him to get the mission done with Fitz, and get back  _to her_. Maybe he won’t remember feeling  _home_  when she punched him lightly on his arm when he and Fitz returned. Maybe he won’t remember feeling like a knife stabbed him when he saw the look in her eyes when he said she talked too much. Maybe he won’t remember how badly he had to hold back and not brake in front of her when she offered to talk to him that night in Dublin.

Maybe it was better that she didn’t visit him. Because that way, maybe he won’t remember May telling him how he said  _Skye_  in his sleep the day after their arrangement started. Maybe he won’t remember telling May that he’s in love with their hacker. Maybe he won’t remember his cheeks burning when May said Skye felt the same way.

Maybe it was better that she didn’t visit him. Because that way, maybe he won’t remember his heart dropping when Victoria Hand said that Skye  _had_  to leave the plane. Maybe he won’t remember the feeling of breaking inside as he watched her walk out of the ramp; away from the team, away from him. Maybe he won’t remember how many times he had to throw his phone away just to keep him from calling her and making sure she was alright. Maybe he won’t remember how it took everything he’s got  _not_  to pull her in his arms when she and the team met up in that deserted town.

Maybe it was better that she didn’t visit him. Because that way, maybe he won’t remember how good, _nice,_  it felt spending one morning with her with FitzSimmons’ presence. Maybe he won’t remember the magnetism he felt whenever she was in the same room as him. Maybe he won’t remember why Skye talking to a bartender seemed  _so wrong_  in his eyes. Maybe he won’t remember  _that_  feeling that washed through him with having her so close. Maybe he won’t remember looking at her and all he could see was her carrying  _his_  baby in her arms.

Maybe it was better that she didn’t visit him. Because that way, maybe he won’t remember how he had to hold back and not ask Coulson to be paired with her in that undercover mission. Maybe he won’t remember how bad he wanted to cry when they saw her laying on the floor, drowning in her own blood. Maybe he won’t remember breaking down in front of May when they got her back on the bus. Maybe he won’t remember his world shattering into pieces when the nurse told them nothing could be done to save her.

Maybe it was better that she didn’t visit him. Because that way, maybe he won’t remember how a single smile from her could put back the pieces that broke when she laid healing in the med pod.

Maybe it was better that she didn’t visit him. Because that way, maybe he won’t remember how he spilled out his guts to Lorelei about his feelings for Skye.

Maybe it was better that she didn’t visit him. Because that way, maybe he won’t remember how she brought light when all he saw was darkness the moment she entered the interrogation room just four days ago.

Maybe it was better that she didn’t visit him. Because that way, maybe he won’t remember the feeling of ecstasy he had when she  _agreed_  to have a drink with him.

Maybe it was better that she didn’t visit him. Because that way, maybe he won’t remember feeling like a little boy being given a candy when he saw her leaning up to him. Maybe he won’t remember himself meeting her halfway. Maybe he won’t remember how a single touch from her lips glue everything broken he had. Maybe he won’t remember breathing her in, taking her in, and giving her everything he’s got. Maybe he won’t remember how he planned on kissing her again and again and again and again in the future he planned for  _the both of them._

Maybe it was better that she didn’t visit him. Maybe that way, he won’t see her  _breaking_  and slipping out of his fingers when just four days ago, he had her at his grasp.

Maybe that way,  _he_  won’t break like he knows he will when he meets her gaze.

Before Coulson had the chance to leave him, he calls out one last time, “Coulson.”

"Yes,  _Agent Ward_?” Coulson replied before closing the door behind him, his voice breaking at the words he got used to saying for months, only to know he didn’t deserve the title.

"Just," he breathed, looking down at his clasped hands. With tears threatening to fall from his eyes, he looked up to see Coulson’s back facing him. "Just.. Tell her I’m sorry I didn’t get the chance to take up her offer," he smiled sadly as one lone tear fell from his eye.

Just when he thought he’s broken enough, Coulson said, “She told me she wished we didn’t kidnap her and that you weren’t her SO.. Maybe then, she wouldn’t be crying for four days straight.”


End file.
